Day 799 of continued torture...
My bosses continually yell at me for things I did not do. They give me work that I don't want to do while they take extremely long lunches and disappear for hours on end. (How many times can you go to Starbucks in a day?)
Although I try to get a job in another department or promotion, I am told I am not qualified enough even though I have done the job before and I have more experience then the person who got the job.
The only thing that keeps me sane is the occasionally silly email I receive, MySpace, and Facebook. Oh wait I think someone is coming...I need to look like I am busy working.
Today I decided not to work my reports and play games all day long. I'll just to it tomorrow, nobody will notice. I think the bosses are still at Starbucks or have left for the day.
I have just been asked to be on a committee of some sort and have asked to contribute to making the workplace a better place. What I would like to say to this committe is, "Fire all the jackasses who got promoted and promote the people that will actually make a difference and give a damn." Needless to say I won't say that because I need my job.
I have to be careful as to what I say and who I say it to, there are spys and brown nosers everywhere. I also have to be careful when I talk to someone I wouldn't want to offend them.
Maybe tomorrow I will take a long lunch and then leave early.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity....
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
***I know everybody has read this before but it always makes me laugh***
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
***I know everybody has read this before but it always makes me laugh***
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